The school year is in full swing across the country now and I’ve already seen my social media feed begin to be filled with upset parents that their child is being bullied at school. As much as we’d like to think that this is only a problem within the last five years, truth is bullying has been apart of our school systems for generations. It’s just now amplified by social media as is the rest of our daily news.
We talk about our toddlers and how they absorb every move we make and every sentence we speak (or at least if it doesn’t involve a chore for them😊). But why do we seem to forget that this “sponge effect” doesn’t stop at age 5? The do as I say, not as I do is a joke. Why do we expect more out of our children than we do ourselves in civilization?
There’s a reason we try not to swear in front of our kids when they are little, we want to set a good example for them on how to be respectful when we talk. Yet, they still hear us talking gossip about a co-worker or “friend”, but we feel it’s ok to talk about as long as we don’t use bad language. Or they hear us discussing a post on Facebook and this is what she said, and this is what he said. COME ON! One of the MOST frustrating things to me is when a child has to lose their innocence all too quick because their parents choose to tell them about their adult problems. UGH hello – if as an adult we have a hard time processing a problem, why in the WORLD would we tell a CHILD?
Folks, this STARTS at home. This starts directly with us choosing our conversations around our children intentionally. This is about teaching our children that even in our workplace there are adults that still say rude things and that unfair things still continue to happen as we “grow up”. This is about talking to our kids about how beneficial it is in being a community where people are different. This is about talking through when others treat them unfairly and how to manage their feelings. This is about building their self-esteem while NOT demeaning OURS.
Ladies, I knowwww we struggle with our we view ourselves and it can be an extremely hard road to overcome. But if our kids hear us talk poorly about our own selves every time we get dressed or eat a piece of pizza they will begin to think those same low self-esteem thoughts about themselves. So when they do have someone at school who says something about their body or make fun of some other aspect, their confidence is already on the downward slope because they think “ugh, I just had a donut today at breakfast and now I’m fat.” It’s a lot harder to recover from a hard comment from someone they have to face at school each day when they already don’t think highly of themselves. I know as a mom, if I were to be asked “do you ever want your daughter or son to think poorly about their bodies”, my immediate response would be “of course not.” So if that reason alone, don’t let them ever hear you talk that way about yourself.
Our actions and our words are LIFE to our children. We cannot protect our children from every bad conversation or event that happens when they are not with us, I am not naïve to this. However, modeling what we expect at home in OUR family is where we need to start. By taking these actions to be more mindful of what we are saying and doing in front of our children will in turn improve our own lives. This not only shapes bullying in our schools differently but shapes how we act in the workplace and the infamous “social media keyboard”.
You ladies know that I love me some Rachel Hollis so this type of conversation wouldn’t be complete without including a quote from her.
Which leads me into my last point on this topic. When was the last time that you dove into the “self-help” or “personal development” space? Everything I talked about above, may just be repetitive for anyone who is already in this space, so this is for those who’ve never thought about it. Or those who’ve thought about it, then complain about how the “world sucks” or “these kids these days are out of control.” This is a plain and simple conversation – if you want to change the world in which you have in your home, in your child’s school, in your workplace, or on your social media feed; IT STARTS WITH YOU. If you are going to complain about any of the above, you’re missing out on so many great opportunities to help improve any of these situations. Your words with yourself, your spouse, your children, and your family and friends will naturally begin to change when you dive into ways to pour into yourself first.
So do it for your kids and your kids’ kids. It is truly as easy as changing one person at a time.
If you have enjoyed today’s conversation, then please take a moment and share this story with your friends. Leave us a comment on how you are taking action on improving our kids’ future.
Comments will be approved before showing up.